Every once in a while I come across a book that intimidates me. Sometimes, it’s too long. Sometimes, it’s too literary or slow for my tastes, and I don’t want to commit. Sometimes, it’s just not appealing. I don’t like to stop books in the middle, but sometimes I do, or I refuse to start them in the first place.
For Christmas this year, I received a book that intimidates me for an entirely new reason. It is called Letters to My Grandchild, and it consists of a series of envelopes with fold-out stationery pages on which I am supposed write letters to my grandchild. Then I am supposed to seal the envelopes, and write “open on” dates on each envelope.
One would think that after I’ve kept a blog for twelve years and bared my soul to the world in over 1000 posts, writing these letters would not be intimidating. But the book has given me writers’ block.
How do I know which stories will resonate with my granddaughter, who just had her first birthday?
How do I know when I am done writing on the topic and ready to seal the envelope?
How on earth can I pick a date when she should open the envelopes—and should it be while I’m still around or not until after I’m dead?
A large part of the reason I’ve written this blog is to leave my stories for posterity. I hope this blog will be available to my granddaughter after I am gone. If I ever stop writing the blog, I will save it as a private site for her to read someday.
But I can’t just write on the “Stories about our family” page of this book, “see posts #A, #B, and #C on my blog.” If I’m going to write letters to her, I should write them especially for her.
But I don’t KNOW her yet. She can’t talk and is just learning to walk. I know she is busy and active and likes to babble. But she and I haven’t built a relationship yet, and I don’t know which parts of my life story will speak to her, nor even which parts of my story I think she will need to know.
When my children and their older cousins turned thirty, I wrote them each a letter, telling them why I was proud of their accomplishments to date in their lives. But by thirty, they each had a life to talk about. And the letters were about them, not me. (Warning to younger nieces: I don’t know if I will continue this tradition. But maybe. Though this assumes I remember which year you were born and that I’m still around when that year arrives.)
I’m not refusing to write these letters to my granddaughter. I think the idea of the book is lovely, and it will probably give me many things to think about as I get to know her. But I’m not ready to write the letters to her yet.
Do books ever intimidate you?
You can start with a letter for her to open on her 10th birthday, and write what you felt when you held her for the first time. In another letter you can tell her about the week you had spent together, because of course she cannot remember it, being too young. Then, maybe another with memories about her mother when she was young… And the inspiration will come too in time, for other letters.
Thank you for the ideas.
Yes, you are obsessing! 🤣
I have written letters to my two grandchildren, 6 and 3 years old, since they were born. I type them up for birthdays, Holidays, and just because. I date them and place each in an envelope with that date. Their mommy will gift them with all the letters when she feels appropriate to do so, but most likely not sooner than their teen years. I won’t be around forever, but the letters will be, so they can revisit me – and my relationship with them – as often a they wish.
Thanks for the encouragement, Irene.
Theresa
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