My father died five years ago yesterday, on January 5, 2015. His death was sudden—I’d spoken to him the day before, and I’d had emails from him that morning. My brother talked to him that evening as our dad decided to go to the hospital because of some abdominal pain. […]
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Thoughts of Life and Death on My Husband’s Milestone Birthday
In a couple of days, my husband will celebrate a milestone birthday. One that ends with a big 0. I’ll let you guess which one, though I will say that it’s getting harder to claim he is still middle-aged. Plausible, but harder. We know many people who are older than […]
Continue readingAlways Go to the Funeral
I was reminded recently of something my daughter taught me. It’s nice to have children who are mature enough to teach their parents life lessons. Both my children came home for their uncle’s funeral in May. Actually, my daughter had been visiting, and merely had to extend her visit by […]
Continue readingLavender Lotion and “Temps Perdu”
I don’t use much scented lotion. I’m allergic to many floral scents, particularly roses and lilies. They make me sneeze. So I buy hypoallergenic brands. Gifts of scented hand lotions tend to sit on my counter for a long time, to be used only on special occasions when I want […]
Continue readingThe Second Anniversary of Loss
Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of my father’s death, which happened just six months after my mother’s death. I find myself in a much better place than I was on the first anniversary. I wrote a year ago today that I was melancholic—past the immediacy of loss, but still mourning. […]
Continue readingGail Elizabeth Sullivan
In my last post, I mentioned that I developed some friends during my second grade year, the first school year I spent at Christ the King School in Richland, Washington. One of those friends was Gail Elizabeth Sullivan. Gail was a bubbly little girl. She was smart (in the A […]
Continue readingThe Importance of Brag Files—My Father’s and My Own
During my first visit to my father’s house after his death, I reviewed all the papers in his office. There were at least six file drawers, plus a two-shelf cupboard, plus two plastic boxes under a desk—all crammed full of neatly labeled folders, and all the folders were stuffed with […]
Continue readingA Story I Couldn’t Tell Before: It’s Okay to Stop
The last time I saw my mother was in mid-June 2014—just over two years ago. That was the trip during which she spit out the Communion host, which I then had difficulty disposing of. This week-long visit gave me my last memories of my mother before she died. Mother had […]
Continue readingSix Things My Father Did Right on Estate Planning
In addition to remembering your loved ones on this Memorial Day, perhaps you should consider how you want to be remembered when you are gone. I have just completed the administration of my parents’ estates after my father’s sudden death about seventeen months ago. During this emotional and time-consuming process, […]
Continue readingA Story I Couldn’t Tell Before: The Sister I Never Knew
Shortly before my mother’s death, my father and I reviewed the draft obituaries my parents had written for themselves several years earlier, long before my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At the time my father showed me the obituaries, my mother was about to go into hospice. We knew we […]
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