Random Photos: When the Cares of the World Hit Hard

As I scrolled through old photographs recently, I came across pictures of my father taken on the beach at Port Townsend, Washington, in August 2006. This was my first visit to my parents’ new home—what would be their last home—in Port Ludlow, Washington.

What strikes me about these pictures is that my father looks like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But as I recall, this was a relatively good time in my parents’ lives, or so it seemed to me. They had just moved to a brand new house in a pretty neighborhood. They were healthy and financially secure. They had ambitious travel plans underway.

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In my opinion, I had more cares at the time than they did. I was still working, though I was in the midst of transitioning to retirement. I still had one child in college. My father-in-law was seriously ill.

My husband, children, and I had just been to Spokane to celebrate my brother-in-law’s milestone birthday. From there, my son and I flew to Seattle to visit my parents, and my husband and daughter were off to hike in Switzerland. (Actually, I don’t remember my son going with me to Port Ludlow, but there are pictures of him in the area, so he must have. Or maybe he visited a buddy in the area and just stopped by.)

My husband and daughter made it to Minneapolis and were awaiting their flight overseas when my husband got the call that his father was hospitalized in serious condition after a surgery that did not go well. They never got on that flight to Europe, but returned home to Kansas City instead and went to visit my father-in-law.

We debated whether I should return home as well, but decided my presence wouldn’t add anything to my father-in-law’s recovery, and I should stay with my parents. So I did.

So I visited my parents and worried about my father-in-law. And about whether I would be able to transition from work to retirement—I wanted to write novels, but would I be able to do so? And how would we arrange for health insurance for our college-aged daughter after I retired?

One day on this trip, my parents and I drove to Port Townsend and its Fort Worden State Park and Point Wilson lighthouse. My mother sat in the car, but my dad and I hiked the beach out toward the lighthouse. That’s when I took these pictures.

After I retired at the start of 2007, I visited my parents three or four times a year. By August 2012, six years after these photos, my mother could not stay by herself. By August 2013, she was living in a memory care facility. And by August 2014, she was dead, and we held her funeral. And the following January, my father died.

Meanwhile, my father-in-law recovered from the August 2006 surgery, but in March 2009, he moved to a nursing home, where he lived for three and a half years until his death in September 2012.

The cares of the world? They hit us all. Sometimes we show it, and sometimes we don’t. But I have learned that each of us faces pain and sorrow in life, and we should try to show a little empathy to those we encounter who fail to meet our standards. Maybe the cares of the world are feeling heavy on their shoulders that day.

When have your worries weighed you down?