The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Social Media in Times of Stress

Before my father passed away on January 5, I had scheduled some posts on my Facebook author page about Clean Off Your Desk Day on January 12, and today’s Organize Your Home Day. I forgot about these posts in the middle of much bigger worries.

My desk

So in addition to my emotional posts from this blog this week and last about my father’s death, my Facebook Page readers can see two posts on these amusing non-events. (Well, they’re typically non-events in my life. I have already confessed that I am a pack rat who files on the floor. But I’ve worked in groups that take Clean Off Your Desk Day quite seriously.)

My attempt to schedule my humor now seems quite inappropriate.

Ironically, however, this year these “national days” are not non-events for me. I am spending time this week tearing my father’s office apart, trying to organize his records into what I need now, what I’ll need soon, and what I will probably never need. Clean off the desk? Not for awhile.

And I lie awake nights dreading the soon-to-come dismantling of my parents’ house, which I’ll need to do with the help of my brother and sister and the rest of the family. We will have to decide what to keep and what to toss from a fifty-nine year marriage. Organize the home? This year we are emptying it.

I write all this to show that one aspect of the Bad and the Ugly of social media is that items posted in advance may later seem inappropriate. Automation of posts and tweets is helpful in moderation, but the writer must always remain aware of what is about to be posted, as I have discovered this week. It may turn out the scheduled posts do not describe life as it develops. Life doesn’t always roll along as we plan.

But I have also experienced the Good of social media this week—the connections that can develop across distances and in short times. My heart has been warmed by readers both on this blog and on Facebook who have expressed their compassion for my family and me. Most of the people who have commented are people I know personally, but some are people I’ve met only through social media. Good people. Friends, even. And it is a comfort to know that so many people care.

On balance, are our lives better or worse because of social media?

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6 Comments

  1. “I am spending time this week tearing my father’s office apart, trying to organize his records into what I need now, what I’ll need soon, and what I will probably never need.”
    I immediately got a knot in my stomach when I read this, Theresa. I have yet to tackle such a daunting and heartbreaking task, but I know one day I will and that scares me.
    You and your siblings remain in my prayers. xo

  2. I must think about my response because I’ve experienced the better and the worse of the medium. I’m happy about how easily a message can be widespread, but even that backfires in the face of public scrutiny. To be continued …

    I’m sorry your task is an arduous one; alas, it can’t be avoided. Please know that you will get to the other side of it; this phase in your life is a temporary one. Unfortunately, even temporary moments can be lengthier than we want.

  3. Theresa,

    Our lives are better because of social media. We are better informed. We know more people. But in times of stress, social media cannot carry a tune. I know your father died, but all I can do is send you a message, if facebook is all I have.

    In the business world, managers try to manage by email. Again, all they can do is inform, not lead, or even motivate.

    Social media is pervasive, but it’s still a one-trick pony.

    Dane

  4. Our lives are better for social media but like anything else we have to use it in moderation. It’s too easy to get sucked in and not only does life not pan out the way we hope it will but we miss out on actual living. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family Theresa.

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  6. I wouldn’t say better or worse. I’d say different. I find your latest blog post in my FB news feed. That’s good! I found out from your blog that you file on the floor, which tickled me because I do that too. So that’s good! I’m more in the loop than I was in the past. Good. But too much information comes my way. Bad! I’ve becaome less guarded since I got on FB, and also learned to take responsibility for how much info I ingest. So I’d say it has changed me. On the other hand, the youngsters moved on to Twitter, after (and because) the old folks – me included––embraced FB. So I changed social media as much as it changed me.

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